The Four-Step Emotional Change Trick: Take Control of Your Mood

The Four-Step Emotional Change Trick: Take Control of Your Mood

Bad moods are a normal part of life, and it’s okay to feel them. Have you ever been in a bad mood, only to have someone tell you to "cheer up"? It probably didn’t help at all—in fact, it might have made you even more annoyed. That’s because changing your mood needs to come from you, not from someone telling you what to do.

With that in mind, let’s learn an emotional change trick to help you take charge of your own feelings. It’s called the "three-step emotional change trick"—but, in reality, there’s a secret fourth step too.

Step One: Feel the Feeling

Your emotions show up for a reason, and the first thing to do is honor them. Instead of trying to push them away, allow yourself to truly feel the feeling. Ask yourself: How can I honor and respect my emotions?

Here are some ideas to express your emotions:

• Cry if you feel sad.
  

• Make angry faces into a mirror if you’re feeling angry.
  

• Draw an angry picture or punch a pillow (without hurting anyone).
  

• Scream into a pillow or scribble on paper.
  

• Write down what you’re feeling—even if it’s a nasty letter you never send.
  

• Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
  

Step Two: Think a New Thought or Do Something Different

Once you’ve honored your feelings, it’s time to think a new thought or do something that will change your mood. This is about shifting your mindset and deciding what could put you in a better mood.

Here are some mood-changing ideas:

• Tell a funny story or joke.
  

• Watch a funny video (cat videos always work!).
  

• Get some exercise or smile at yourself in the mirror.
  

• Talk to someone you trust.
  

• Do something silly, like putting a funny object on your head.
  

• Chew a big wad of gum or listen to your favorite music.
  

Nobody knows you better than you do—think about what always makes you feel better, and use that to shift your mood when you’re ready.

Step Three: Spread the Good Mood

Did you know that moods are contagious? When you’re in a good mood, you can spread it to others around you. Just like COVID-19, a good mood can be incredibly contagious!

Instead of telling someone else to "cheer up," consider these ways to spread your good mood:

• Smile at someone or do them a favor.
  

• Hold the door open for a stranger.
  

• Offer an act of kindness or give someone a hug (even virtually).
  

• Listen to someone who needs it, or simply say "I love you" to someone close.
  

The more you share your good mood, the more positive energy you create for yourself and others.

Step Four: Teach Someone Else

Now, here’s the surprising fourth step: Teach someone else the three-step emotional change trick. By passing on what you’ve learned, you not only help someone else but also reinforce the practice for yourself.

Emotions are complex and sometimes surprising, which is why this emotional change trick needs four steps instead of just three. Now that you’ve learned the secret, go ahead and use it, share it, and spread the positivity!